A Current State of Mind

Writing is something which perhaps makes me calm right now. A phase of inflection is always interesting but tiresome. Tiredness of the mind. A change is observed in my writing style.. 

A life of interesting chain of events and a continuous dynamic flow of time has always made me curious about the world. If you have read my other blogs, in each of them I have tried proving a point. 

It was that phase of my life, when I was trying to understand others, the world, its nature, the cause and effect through ages and so many other stuff. 

A hungry social need of recognition was always impacting my thoughts and directing it towards understanding the contradiction. May be that is a part of me. As Ray has explained in his interview with Shyam Benegal in 83-84, Bengal has always been a seat of contradictions and mostly that is a universal inner conflict that has existed because of different actions and psyche of the people, resulting into sharp divisions in opinions and slowly that became a tendency. And sometimes it leads to unnecessary mandates, laws, rules, decisions and mindsets, causing different behavior of people at different phases of their minds and different sphere. 

After many years, a shift in the need is observed. Feuds are good but they take too much of your mind space and affects others. It is better sometimes to just ignore the conflict and moving towards the goal. The greater good. 

War, one of the many established greater goods have always made me curious. Since the first battle of Neanderthal to, the battle of Athens, in may be some three figured BC or BCE, till the World War II, human has shown same nature but in their own unique customized way. After-all.. its every one of us who think, that they are unique and they have a decision making CPU which takes it's own commands in decision making process. A natural form of Artificial Intelligence.

My current state of mind seeks responses according to the current values in my mind. According to the law of attraction, I have reached where I have reached due the impact of cause and effect and my current state of mind as well as my own responses depends on this "now" kind of thing.. Not easy to explain, but one thing is evident.. That's what is painting my frames of the future. 

What an interesting piece of time and matter. The domain and the never ending vlc player where someone put on the ▻(Play) button maybe some 13.7 Billions years back and forgot to perss Pause or Stop. :P 

The early signs of calmness appeared in this world, because every unbalanced force try to balance the equation with an exact need in alteration of inner self and the outer one. A very complex process leading us to what we are now.

For me the first quadrant has been crossed. The childhood ended with a boom. The world of Corporate attracted and here I am doing what has to be done.. and in fact it has to be done otherwise the purpose or the objective wont be fulfilled which will hamper the course of growth. 

Now the difference between the last and the immediate phase of my mind is that, the purpose has changed. Also that has affected the priorities. 

A new start again!!

This lazy guy got an app of google blogs in his Windows Phone and is trying to move its lazy ass to speak his mind.. But the question is who will read this and why.. Who the hell am I that anyone will even care to get some time to read this and think for a while.. The world is busy.. Am I a part of that.. Don't know.. So.. Writing for my own sake or for you if you are reading this.. Life has changed and so am I lets see where this one goes to...

I am back!

It's been ages since I sat down to write something. Life is fast, life is harsh, life is cruel, bullshit! It's all about human.. It's all about me, my mind, my intentions, my own deeds.. good or bad.. I have to face it! I create my own destiny that's what is the only truth about life. I have learnt this in past one year ( to be exact )!

Been through a lot of turmoil...

My own base weakened, my very existence jeopardized..

That was the beginning of the downfall. May be I was responsible for that. Well this is something someone taught me. Trying not to blame someone else for what is happening in one's life.. It is something which is impossible in this world. And not true always, sometimes things are out of one's hand.. The samething happened to me. Growing up adhering to one nature and suddenly I have to change that is nearly impossible!!

The way the desert absorbs and can hold a single drop of water over it, my life was devoid of peace. Such was my mental condition it was like a grenade whose pin is taken off and can blast any minute.

A frustrated person actually hates his frustration! ( Well of course he does! :P ) And strives to rescue himself from its grasp. But generally mind doesn't work in a way it should at such points.

So there I was. Amidst my desert searching for an oasis. Got a few but all came out to be mirages. Other aspects of life hampered. My life force almost destroyed in this effort. Basic relations shaken down.. Attitude became unstable.. Reality was against me!

I wasn't me. I became a mere shadow.. a forced existence.. Forcefully acting to be happy. Trying to coin the illusion as reality to myself and acting as if it was.

Slowly the conveyor belt of life was taking me towards the end. Not actually the end of life, but the end of my existence, my own self!

Then something happened. A flash of light for a second in a dark existence. It was serene, it was hope, it was the key, it was my only way to be a human.. again..

What happened was a magic! It was not what I was searching for, but a far more better solution to my problem. It was the reality. Nothing really escapes the eyes of reality and the same happened! My history was questioned and I was taken to task! I had to overcome it.. I just had do and I did!

It happened! I again lived.. Better than ever..

It was the "best"est event that ever happened in my life..
She was the "best"est one I ever came by and ever will...

Love her....

A note regarding points of views

Back after a long long time..

The world has changed pretty much in the meantime. So has changed my life. But it’s the same me. Striving in a world that calls itself civilized, with its positive traits and negative too.

I am still fighting against the norms and basics of this society. Trying to bring a change in me.

But I can never accept the theory which allows people to criticize me without giving me an acceptable solution.

No one in this world in 100% right or 100% wrong. So, who has the right to criticize about the righteousness of the others ? Yet the world keeps on doing so. Saying biased things, yet claiming not to be. The world has so many points of views. Everyone has it, everyone has to have it. That’s obvious. But that doesn’t mean that, that someone will slander the others points of views by verdicting it to be wrong!

Logic at a point is of course necessary but we need to understand this that what logic prevails today weren’t prevailing in a distant past. Someone or the other conceived that in their mind. So, logics can be formed, discovered, created and redefined ... and that is what some people do….even though that might be just a handful.

This is a very controversial topic ‘cause, somepeople might say that by this logic one can kill someone and claim that it’s right cause it’s his point of view. But to be very practical,  there are mass killers who are respected in the society and even worshipped.

Example, the people who were involved in the freedom struggle of India, today are worshipped as legends, yet to some, they were terrorists, and bad people. So? Does that stop us to worship it?

What I am saying is not socially accepted but is prevalent in the society among the ones who makes just the opposite norms. So, this is just a paranoia, a one sided biased, partial decisions made by people to serve their own interests. One can not stop it ....the paradox is…..one can not change the ever changing society ( pun intended).

I have heard a saying somewhere… “People fear what they don’t understand” .
That is true. But the fact is that not everyone is capable of being different and with it maintain the the task of keeping the balance.. For that u need leadership…you need to be the shepherd to guide the ignorant flock of masses…and people has to have their faith in the one they follow.
But for those who can live with ideologies deviated directly from the society, they are most welcome to do so. One has the right to decide what he wishes to follow. But you cannot deny the Ultimate truth.

A person is born in this world, he lives his life and at the end, whatever or whoever might he be, die with his identity .if he is reborn, the identity of his previous life has died. So, we got one life, one lifetime and one chance. If that person wishes to live a life of his own he is more than welcome to do so. Nothing is absolute. So one must use his intellect and reason to justify to himself what that person is doing. If it is something positive ( positive doesn’t mean what the society has defined “positiveness”’), he will get back the same and if it is negative, he will get back it too! That’s what we call Karma or in a term more familiar and perhaps scientific, the law of cause and effect.for example, if a person kills someone terminally ill and in immense pain,it it would relieve someone from life long suffering and if he kills the person with that intention, then he is of course creating a positive karma for him, even if the world and what we call the law shuns it. But suppose, if someone does the same with an intention in mind, like acquiring the dead person’s properties, even if he is doing something good from the point of view stated above, he is acquiring a negative karma. So, in the end it’s all in our minds and our intentions. So I believe one must be careful about his intention. I have experimented with this hypothesis and at the end got desired results.
That’s what a part of my point of view is.
If you like it, great.
If you don’t, I respect that….
So long.. if you like it, don’t forget to “recommend” it to others, if you don’t, never mind. Sorry if I sound rude, I don’t intend to be so….

Satyajit Ray : Part 1

It is said that the blood inherits the qualities of the
ancestors… Satyajit Ray was one such man I have known. A versatile
genius, he was and what a personality! Being the son of the master of nonsense
rhyme, Sukumar Ray and the grandson of the father of
the half-tone printing technology, Upendra Kishore Roy Chowdhury, Ray may had inherited the merit, the talent
which he in his later life expressed with any of the forms of art he was
involved with. Like the concept of Philosopher’s
Stone ( Bengali – parash pathar), what ever

he touched turned out to be pure gold.. Be in drawings, cinema, fiction, music,anything.. He was a master
of creativity.

Ray was born in 1921 in Garpar
Road in a house, which was built by his grandfather and it was also a printing
press for many books written by Upendra Kishore and a
magazine for children called “Sandesh”, which was edited
by him. Ray, since his childhood was interested in that and many a times, used
to scribble gibberish in a piece of paper and used to go to the man at the
press and said in a bold voice,”it has to be
published in the next issue of Sandesh ( Eta ebarer Sandesh e berobe)”..

From his memoirs of childhood, “Jokhon Choto Chilam” ( When I was a child ).. I got to know about his childhood,
the Ray family, the Kolkata in the early 20^th Century and many
things.

Since my childhood is have been reading his books and
watching his movies.. Even as a child of 21^st

century, in the age of animations and special effects, I found those amuzing and thoughtful..

At the age of 12 perhaps, I first saw the movie “Nayak” ( The Hero ) which I hardly understood. As I grew
up, in different phases of my teenage and manhood, I interpreted it in
different ways and I still do.. unknowingly

it became one of my all-time favorites and the most favorite movie by Ray..

Pather Panchali (The
Song of the Little Road) was a new experience for me when I was around 14
perhaps. I am thankful to the almighty to have been born in a family where I got
to be imbibed
with so rich culture ( the word rich isn’t related to money). I got to read so many books in my childhood
and so many movies to watch, that it made me what I am today..

( though I don’t know what exactly I am)..

One after another, I went on watching movies by Ray, which
ever came in my hand and were amused each time and never did the quality of
this movies, the concept, the script, the technique with which he handled themand especially the music..

Music was one such thing that reminds me… I was a Ray-maniac.. It makes me laugh but while I was 8 or 9, my father
bought me a cassette of the songs of the two “Gupi-Bagha”
movies and I remember to play them in a Walkman, and used to sing the songs
with the playback and used my fingers to keep the beats on the plastic cassette
covers..

I excavated a 2 cassette collection of Ray’s compositions, “Music
of Satyajit Ray”.. actually I found out the first cassette but the second was missing..
I started listening to those, and inspite of not
having watched any of the movies except one ( Goopy gyne Bagha Byne)
of them, I listened to them like a maniac.. (I am glad to be one), over and
over and over again.. I forced my father to buy the collection
again so that I could get the second volume of it, and later at an elder age, I
bought the digitally mastered disc and it is something I often play and listen.. The tracks which I have, perhaps, listened a thousand times
seems fresh to me.. I get mesmerized at the feelings,
the moods which are impacted upon my mind by those few instruments, a mixture
of eastern and western.. Indeed in the field of music,
Ray has his own niche..

I constantly read as many biographical books related to Ray
and after a lot of reading, his life is like a clear picture to me.. I was born just months before he died, but his life is
fresh in my imaginations..

The years he spent as a commercial artist, how he married
his love of childhood, his own cousin, who was four years elder to him, how mad
he was about movies since his youth and so many things!! While he was in
London, he watched about 300 movies and was influenced greatly by Hollywood and
its techniques.. Vittorio De Sica’s
“The Bicycle Thief” was one such movie which influenced him. He was mesmerized by
the neo-realistic genre and how De Sica had the movie
made with mostly non-professional actors but with great perfection.. Ray decided to give his own movie which slowly he was
conceiving in his mind, the same treatment. After he returned he decided to
shoot for “Aam Atir Bhepu”, a childrens version
of the book “Pather Panchali” by

Bibhuti Bhusan Bandyopadhyay, which he got to read while drawing its
cover page and pictures for the Signet Press. He chose his friend from The
Calcutta Film Society, Subrata Mitra to be
the cinematographer of the movie and chose to direct himself..
With mere luck and God’s blessings, inspite of having
hard times, he could finish the film and then, there was no looking back.. Let me share another fact, that Ravi Shankar, the wizard
of Sitar composed it’s background score and recorded
them at the same time, nonstop, at a stretch in 11 hours, to meet the dead
lines of a foreign film festival.

There are so many things, so many, to tell about him… which I
will in due course.. I end this post here and promise
to write more on Ray soon…

 

To be continued…

Life, as I have seen it………..

A river originates from its source through the three courses into the final destination, where it meets the ocean.. The life is just like a river.. It is born.. It flows through thick and thin and at the end of the day emerges into the great source of energy from where it originated…. It is a never ending process and we, are like the drops of the river, we are born, and as we live, we come across manythings which constitutes our lives and in the end,we embrace death and unite with the supreme power, the omnipotence..
I think only one thing is constant about life, that is, it never stands still.. Time is such a dimension, which is something everyone can realize but its true identity is still a mystery,its never ending, as we know “Time and tide waits for no one”…….except perhaps Rajinikath..
Jokes apart, life flows on with time and it has an end too.. But while it goes on.. it goes through so much of things.. One can experience life with his body and mind.. While in a body, one has a unique identity of a person, who lives for quite a number of years, in whatever state or standard maybe.. It is all about the growth and decay of a body and we tend to act accordingly, the control centre being the mind, operating through the brain..
Einstein quotes “There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.” And what a truth does he speak! Indeed life shows us such miracles,and atleast I believe so, that it itself is the greatest miracle that ever happened!
Creating everything out of nothing..
Life out of the non-living..
And today life has reached such a state that it seems too short to do everything.. Today, we all have a hectic schedule, from the morn, till the end.. And whole of our life, we tend to strive to understand what life is about, and when we do, we are already vanished from the earth!

Death is the ultimate truth of life, the only inevitable thing that has ever been there.. The universe with all its constituents obeys a same rule that is the cycle of creation and destruction, isn’t it ?

Life is indeed such a wonderful thing! We have our senses to feel, see ear, talk, smell, taste and do so many things.. We have an inbuilt soul which retains its individuality,and we all wander across the ten mental states of being!

So long my friends I end with a word of advise :
There are two rules for ultimate success in life. Never tell everything you know.
That’s something to think about..isn’t it?

Civilization

The land on this Earth, which was the gift of nature is now divided between humans. I believe there doesn't exist an inch of land or water surface on the earth, which does not belong to any human being..

From what right did they take away and on what basis did they divide it? Maybe god divided it into few continents, but where from this concept of Nationalism came? As this is my blog, I think I can and should express my views and opinions about anything I wish.. isn't it ? So.. regarding this matter, I think that, the present day condition in which we live, whatever it is, it is because of the series of events in past.. isn't it? and where they always right? Here again comes
the question of what is right and wrong.. that is again a paranoia!

Let's not get into controversies and I am coming straight to the point..

The civilisation was the product of man, with the sole aim to make the world a better place to live and for the welfare of mankind. What was religion created for ? to make the common mass follow some norms and live in a decent way.. but each of those norms were made according to some scientific base and reasons.. But as time passed those were lost in time and what was left was a modified version of those and the people following them blinded by faith and fear, without knowing the reasons..

Since the dawn of cilivisation, as far as my history book said, back then in the secondary level, all over the world, there Brothels and the concept of prostitution were prevalent very much and openly.. yet We are Cilivised.. Today I see NGOs working for the girls and women in the brothels to give them education.. Yet they are not erradicated.. Porn, considered as a social pathos is a 60 Billion Dollar Industry.. So, isn't civilisation, at least the meaning it has today is really controversial ? I believe yes.

Since the dawn of civilised society, it discriminates man just by colour, race, religion and specially in India, we have the caste system, the terms like "untouchable", "bidhormi" meaning "of a different religion". In the movie "Moner Manush" ( The one who belongs to your soul), it is shown that a mother refuses to touch his son, just because he changed his religion and doesn't let his wife travel with him just because "jaat jaabe" ( the purity of one's self will be lost forever)..

What i mean to say is people have, because of misinterpretation, forgot the meaning of the true essence of any religion and I believe all religions are equal and each of them,the best! Any path to the unanimous, the omnipotent power, can not be called as bad, bad are those who alters it and make the people deluded of the path chosen for them and most important is, I believe every person in this world has the right to choose his way of living, his religion. A child born as a Hindu should not be compelled to remain one because of his birth in a Hindu family.. Isn't it?

Now let us concentrate on the facts that in Greek, and Aryan societies.. There existed Gyms, where not only body related exercises were performed, but also discussions were made.. By the most learned peoples of the society.. Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Herodotus and the subjects of this discussion.. Science, Arts, Philosophy, Psychology, Mathematics... So many things.. This I think is a very wonderful thing isn't it ? Debates were organised.. Games were played, so many things.. Unlike the today's gossips.. Adda, at the highest level.. I admit that today's world also has the same too.. but most of them are biased, politically, ideologically, whatever it may be..

What I intended to convey to you is that, freedom of mind is the utmost necessary element in a "cilivisation" and people shouldn't think that being civilised means being what we call good or decent..

Civilisation is something that should have room for everything.. the good and the bad.. where no man is discriminated against being different from other, no race should claim supremacy and love, unconditional love should be prevalent amongst all.. That will make the world along with its dwellers approach the

PERFECTION..

Mind....

Mind is really a strange thing.. It is that thing which defines me to myself and everyone to themselves...

Whatever I am, whatever my existance is, its all in the mind.. I have been given a body with all organs working perfectly well. But what is it without a mind? Only a living being have a mind.. The science defines it as the bio-magnetic field that surrounds someone and fills himself.. The concept of the soul in a body..

wikipedia defines mind as :
Mind (pronounced /ˈmaɪnd/) is the aspect of intellect and consciousness experienced as combinations of thought, perception, memory, emotion, will, and imagination, including all unconscious cognitive processes. The term is often used to refer, by implication, to the thought processes of reason. Mind manifests itself subjectively as a stream of consciousness.

Let me give you an example..
I have say, two things.. one dvd and a dvd player.. now the dvd is a disc which contains the movie but can it play a movie all by itself ? No.. it can't

Again, the dvd player is the object which can play a movie.. so, can a dvd player play a movie all by itself ?
The answer is as simple as anything.. It obviously can't..

so, a disc separately without a dvd player and a dvd player without a disc is as worthless as a stone.

Now lets have tha analogy.. the mind is the thing we call the essence of life and the body is something where the essence is manifested.. They both are nothing if they are apart and like a movie is played when a dvd is inserted in a dvd player, the life is manifested only when a mind is inside a body..

Isn't that simple ? Guess it is.. but the problem arises when, we try to think where from it originated ?

Again we have a simple answer, from another life..

It is true for all present living beings..
A child is born from a mother, that's the law of the nature.. but where from the mother was born?
Answer is her mother and she, from her mother and so on.. Like this if we try to move upwards, we reach the amoeba the simplest form of life from which all other animals, plants, be it anything was formed by change in shape,size, structure and modification..

The basic form of life is proved to be DNA! which is nothing but a chemical substance..

breaking it down, we get some proteins and as we break further we get the molecule, atom and subatomic partices, mainly electron, proton and neutron.. A kid who passed secondary education knows it. A higher educated one can say that a proton again can be divided into quarks.. which is advanced science..

But what is mind? is it particle? No, we can not see it, is it wave ?

The modern science say so..

But where from it came ? And what is the frequency of it?

Enough of science lecture.. let us come to a point..

Mind is made up of wave which is a basic form of energy.. The mind which functions throughout our body by electromagnetic pulse having its control centre at the brain and transmission centre at brain and the vertebral column.. This is science.. but where from it originated ?

Science may say that it originated randomly from the universe by chemical reactions and fusions, then we come at two conclusions..

1. Mind is formed by the same energy with which the universe is made and
2. Everything in this universe occurs randomly..

Then where fron the conciousness called "me" arises from ?

Where from the concept of GOD, fate, destiny comes?

Is it all random ?

Is everything that is happening or has happened is random?

I say no..

I think mind is something that surrounds me.. then upto what extent is my surrounding? The answer to this question is that the true extent of mind is equal to the extent of this universe.........

It seems quite strange but trust me it's true.. the Noetic Science proves that..

To all those who might not know what Noetic Science is, let me tell you, it is a part of science that deals with the mind, its power and extent..

As i said mind is a wave with frequency (measurable!), the frequency can be individually controlled increasing or decreasing the the extent, the range and the amplitude..

And it has a mass!

We are born with a body which continuously grows.. but let me tell you that the number of neurons are constant within all species.. all the human beingshave the same number of neurons, be it Albert Einstein or an illiterate person ( by illiterate I don't mean an uneducated person, I simply mean a person who doesn't know his true strength of mind). So, it all depends on how i exercise my mind and control it..

From the experiences that I have gathered throughout the twenty years of my life I can tell you that two things are constant in this universe..
1. The net energy content and
2. Cause and effect..

There is always a cause and following an effect which can be another cause with an effect and it is an unending chain sometimes circled up..

It's like the paradox that whether the Hen came first or the Egg..

Everything that we do is for a cause and the effect can again be a cause!

Seems to be a bit queer, or difficult to understand isn't it?

Suppose ten boys are sitting in a row, one of them slaps the next one to him and asks him to slap the next one.. so if this starts, where will it end, if everyone obeys the thing?

It will end to no where..

So, let us come to a point where we started.. about mind..

Mind is the cause of everything.. Everything that is present in this world be it a car, or a house or be the civilisation itself is the product of the mind.. and the effect is manifested on this earth and beyond..

So, the ultimate definition of mind is the part of the constant energy of the univese contained in a living object is called mind which is the medium of cause and the effects.. and is it connected to the universe ? Yes it is.....

But I just told you the greatest secret of the universe!!

Pretty difficult to understand isn't it ?
Don't blame on me if you don't :P

Lonely...

Sometimes, the mind becomes blank... so blank that nothing seems good, nothing seems well.. an idle feeling surpasses all others and a sense of nothingness prevails all over the mind..

That is what i feel now... what's wrong with me ?

I really don't know...

Nothing at this moment seems alright. I tried sleeping and it was all in vein..

Then I sat up, opened the notepad and started writing what you are reading now.. I plugged in my iPod.. Opened the album "Us..." and played the track "Loneliness"..

This track of mine, one of the very few tracks which i composed sometimes back is very special to me...

It's rather frustrating if heard in right state of mind.. but I created the track to fit my mind when I would be in a condition like this.

The track was accidentally created when I was exploring a sound mixing software called Acid Pro and checking its VTS services.. It just has few notes, 6 to be exact played continuously in a manner that it will, with a guarantee from me, frustrate you!

But believe me.. when you are frustrated, this will soothe you.. like its doing to me.. I will attach a downloadable copy of this track with this post.. hope it will soothe your mind in times like this.

Loneliness by koustavghosh
(You can download it by clicking on the (down) symbol beside the player)

Music has been my passion since I don't remember when, and while I grew up, my music preferences started to expand.

The last i can remember, the first signifant preference of mine was bengali hard rock.. to be exact the tracks of the Band "Fossils".. before that I wasn't introduced to rock music of anykind.. neither Western, nor indegenous.. the songs really made a mark in my growing mind and I, with my friend Prantik Mukherjee became ardent follower of Rupam Islam.

I, then already had a girlfriend and a healthy relationship with her.. still, the sense of emptiness in the songs composed by him and the band were absorbed in my mind and it became a bit of Gothic type..

Trust me, now when I recall those days, I can't stop laughing but, its true that I wrote a few songs and the music was given to it by my friend Prantik.

There were uncountable days when, while in the recess, we (me, Prantik and sometimes Satyaki) would conquer an empty classroom and sing aloud our songs with the only percussion- the benches..

One of those songs which I still remember is 'Bishakto'..first two lines of it where like this :

Sohorer asahyo roddure, ami thakchina, thakbona
Tumi amae chhere chole gecho, tobu tomae chhara bachbona

( In the unbearable sunny city, i'm not staying, i'll leave
You have left me long long ago, still without you I won't live )

No one did actually leave me.. but this sense of being alone after the one you love has left, this feeling I enjoyed unconditionally...

Now it feels silly, madness in the meddling teens, it was silly maybe......

Since then I started to be attracted towards the feeling of any song, it's music or the lyric whatever it may be... and since then my exploring through the music of the world started...

Even today also, I emphasize on the feeling of a song.. a film or any piece of art whatever comes in my mind... I judge it by my intellect and follow my inner urge toward any particular thing..

Then i shifted my outlook towards the Indian classical music..which itself is another story which I perhaps will tell you..

This is about a piece of me...

Its 2:25 in the morning and I'm signing off..

P.S. The track is still a mystery to me.. i don't know how it works, but IT DOES!
Check it out by yourself..

Ode to Love

Love, O Love.. Oh mighty love.. kindy tell me how
Ye know no rule yet seem so right, I know not what art thou
When you surpass the world seems new, in you I find my soul
You haveth no begin, you haveth no end.. you haveth no distict goal
Yet you burn the heart so bad, as if a forest at fire..
The life is full of dreams and wishes, it's you whom i admire

She makes me feel that i'm at heaven, she touches me and i am shocked
She takes away my breathe alas! The ego of a man is mocked
Her eyes as deep as the ocean so blue, her lips make rose turn shy
Her voice so sweet as the singing lark, I love her i know not why...
She walks in my dreams, she makes me feel shiver, she does not let me sleep
Oh what pain i have to bear, her absence makes me weepLove
Oh love, Oh mighty love i thank you for being in my life

You made me love her.. you taught me to live.. you made me have my wife.. 



-- Dedicated to the one I love..

I will love you forever .......

Solitude..

Smoking in my balcony after along time..
At 12 in the night... Enjoying the solitude.. The lonely street lights speaking to me...
Meeting after a long time... The iPod is playing the track "Firefly" of the Korean movie 'The Classic"..

This loneliness used to strangle me a long time back.. Now.. its just a good friend.. a friend who never leaves me.. who never betrays me.. When i embrace it, it takes me and my emotions far far away.. in the memories.. in the dreams i shared with her..

T was the Second best thing that happened in my life.... Out of no where she came into my life. embraced me and we started a journey of our own..
August'2005 to December'2010 and still continuing, having formed a remarkable future.. lots of dream.. wit happiness and trust..

The best thing in our relationship is that it is perfect as it is the height of imperfection... we fought till the bream.. we loved.. we cried together and we shared a dream.. a dream of becoming ONE..

I still remember our first meet... Never did I knew then, the girl who was sitting a bit away from me, responding to my blank stares, would be my means of living.. Yet I knew this, that yes.. she was the one....

When she first met me, she tried her best, not to love me.. but alas! Like me.. she fell in a maze which has no wayout ( we both tried.... but couldn't) ......

She was the girl, the most beautiful ever ( according to me ) and we had something called love at first sight.... But the relation that we hold together now is the result of endless efforts and unquestioned faith and respect that both of us had for eachother.. and trust me.. still today...  after six and a half years.. my heart still thumps at the first sight of her..

Every year.. we have a season of fights.. when, we fight like hell.. and trust me when i say hell, i mean it.... Then comes a phase of separation after which, we both confront that we can't live apart.. It seems very foolish and it is! Yet the memories of those times makes me have a good laugh when they come in my mind..

Well.. thats what my relationship status is at this moment.. No-one knows or have seen the future.. Neither have I..

But I know this much.. my story will be incomplete without her...

Love you a lot T!



 

Some random thoughts coming in my mind..

Me..
What am I ? Who I am ? What's my existance ?? Where am I ? Why am I here ? Where will I go from here ???? These are the question arising in my mind when I meditate deeply... Amidst the silent bliss of solitude.. These questions come around and fill me.. Then I started thinking what is the answer to all these.. ?
Through the chanting of "Om" I found out the biggest truth in the universe.. religion preaches it and science confirms it..  Whats is it ??????? " All is one " .. Everything in the universe is one.. made up of same basic elements.. and when they are seen, the basic elements are made of same atomic partices which are made of sub atomic particles, which are made of querks.. there will be a time when querks will be albe to be divided into some other basic particles.... Every particle has dual characteristics.. where from ? The wave in it.. whats that ? Energy ... How many types ? 2 .. One creates, one destroys.. Every thing in the universe comes in pair.. Charge - positive , negative .. Magnetic poles - north and south, living beings - male and female ... matter with antimatter..  What is mind ? It is the biomagnetic field that surrounds me.. whats it's extent..  That depends upon me.. It can be stretched till infinity.. Thats where conciousness turns superconciousness..

HariOm!! Amen!

A new beginning....

This is my first post.. Today no one knows me. Oneday , the world will know what I am.. Just let me tell you one thing.. I am what I am... Its not boasting or showing pride.. ya I am proud to be myself..But I am really down to earth and emotional.. I have my dreams, to fly.. I want and I will have three things in my life love, money and fame.. I will get them.. I will enjoy my life to the brim.. Thats a promise..

Bye all..