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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I am back!

It's been ages since I sat down to write something. Life is fast, life is harsh, life is cruel, bullshit! It's all about human.. It's all about me, my mind, my intentions, my own deeds.. good or bad.. I have to face it! I create my own destiny that's what is the only truth about life. I have learnt this in past one year ( to be exact )!

Been through a lot of turmoil...

My own base weakened, my very existence jeopardized..

That was the beginning of the downfall. May be I was responsible for that. Well this is something someone taught me. Trying not to blame someone else for what is happening in one's life.. It is something which is impossible in this world. And not true always, sometimes things are out of one's hand.. The samething happened to me. Growing up adhering to one nature and suddenly I have to change that is nearly impossible!!

The way the desert absorbs and can hold a single drop of water over it, my life was devoid of peace. Such was my mental condition it was like a grenade whose pin is taken off and can blast any minute.

A frustrated person actually hates his frustration! ( Well of course he does! :P ) And strives to rescue himself from its grasp. But generally mind doesn't work in a way it should at such points.

So there I was. Amidst my desert searching for an oasis. Got a few but all came out to be mirages. Other aspects of life hampered. My life force almost destroyed in this effort. Basic relations shaken down.. Attitude became unstable.. Reality was against me!

I wasn't me. I became a mere shadow.. a forced existence.. Forcefully acting to be happy. Trying to coin the illusion as reality to myself and acting as if it was.

Slowly the conveyor belt of life was taking me towards the end. Not actually the end of life, but the end of my existence, my own self!

Then something happened. A flash of light for a second in a dark existence. It was serene, it was hope, it was the key, it was my only way to be a human.. again..

What happened was a magic! It was not what I was searching for, but a far more better solution to my problem. It was the reality. Nothing really escapes the eyes of reality and the same happened! My history was questioned and I was taken to task! I had to overcome it.. I just had do and I did!

It happened! I again lived.. Better than ever..

It was the "best"est event that ever happened in my life..
She was the "best"est one I ever came by and ever will...

Love her....